Being Flaky Makes Me Flaky

So I recently made the decision to drop out of school. It was a long, daunting process that involved a few sleepless nights. I think I knew for a while that I didn’t want to go back. I worried that my neck would suddenly start oozing halfway through the semester, or that my eyelids would get all wrinkly. Nonetheless, I thought I could handle it, seeing as my skin really wasn’t all that bad.

But my vanity got the best of me–I just couldn’t bear having to go to school with this face! That’s probably one of the worst things about TSW. I have absolutely no control over it. So many plans have been cancelled or outright ignored because on the day of, my skin just doesn’t deliver.

I feel so self-conscious, even with makeup (actually, I feel uglier with foundation because it doesn’t even mask the discolouration completely, and it makes the flakes more prominent!). I feel like my skin is all people look at while I’m talking to them. I know that’s not true (probably…), but I just can’t get myself to believe it.

It’s just so much easier to not go out at all when I’m feeling ugly. I don’t have to do my hair, or put on makeup. I don’t have to waste time finding an outfit that will cover my skin. I can look as ugly as I want, and I really will not care.

Unfortunately, I can only feel this comfortable in my skin at home. So I don’t go out. I don’t put any effort into putting myself out there, or actually living life. It’s pathetic, I know. The world is passing me by, but I’d rather stay in my pajamas all day and watch movies than greet it head on.

But like Dumbledore said, I have to face the choice between what is right, and what is easy. I’ve been in this rut for so long that I have to force myself to go out! It won’t be pleasant at first, but I think I’ll get the hang of it eventually. Hopefully. Ughhhh, how wonderful life will be when my skin is healed!

Mariella

 

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4 thoughts on “Being Flaky Makes Me Flaky

  1. I know that feeling. I’m such an active guy, but the past 5 weeks I’ve barely left the house. I have to mind the office at least 3 days a week, but I don’t go to social functions, and even try to avoid going to the shops.

    I’m with you, good luck to both of us.

    XX

    • Hi Josh πŸ™‚
      It really is psychological trauma, as you put it! I didn’t tell my friends about it until I was two months in. Before that, I just ignored their calls and texts. It was such a relief when I told them. I’ve even had my best friend over a couple of times, and I didn’t wear makeup! I think that’s the best thing you can do when you’re not feeling great. Invite people you’re comfortable with over to your house. Hopefully it’ll get your mind off your skin and the itch for a few hours! Thanks for the support! It makes the process so much easier knowing that I’m not alone πŸ™‚ Good luck to both of us indeed! xx

  2. Hi, omg I know how you feel. I just started TSW. There are days that I’m so flaky but I have no choice but to go to work. I want to wear make up but I can’t. No one has said anything but it does feel like its getting out of control. The worse part is everytime I enter the beauty department of a store, someone has to comment on my dry skin 😦

    • Hi πŸ™‚

      That’s so rude of them to comment on your skin! My little cousin once looked at my leg and said, “Ewww.” It was so mean! They have no idea what we’re going through! Ugh. Anyways, it’s best to leave the flakes on for a couple of days, and then take them off (that’s way easier said than done for me because I can’t stand having them anywhere on my body, so I take them off even though they’re not ready to come off hehe). I did manage to leave them alone a couple of days ago though, and my face is a lot less flaky now πŸ™‚ Plus I used a soft towel to exfoliate my skin yesterday, so that just made it even better! How long did you use topical steroid for?

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