Just wanted to let you know

Hi everyone,

I know it has been a really long time since my last update, and for that I apologize. I’ve been swamped with work and school. It’s hard to find time for sleep, let alone blogging!

But I finally have time now, so I figured that I should let you know that I’m healed. In fact, I’ve been healed for a while, but I’ve been reluctant to say anything for fear of flaring again.

But I think that after 27 months, it’s safe to say that it’s over.

I’ve moved on with my life. I’m doing everything that I had hoped I would be doing. It’s almost as though TSW never happened. It’s been such an all-consuming part of my life for the past two years, yet now that it’s over, I can barely remember any of it. Photos are the only reminders I have left that this actually happened.

My skin feels perfectly normal now. I don’t moisturize, and I don’t do any special treatments whatsoever.

I will say that my skin is much more sensitive now. I can’t use most conventional lotions, and the sun burns me very quickly. But other than that, my skin’s great.

So just keep holding on, and remember that you will heal too!

Mariella

19 Months: Things are Finally Turning Around

And the award for Worst TSW Blogger Ever goes to me!

Sorry for the long silence. I have tons of half-written posts, but they were all overwhelmingly negative, so I decided not to write anything at all. October, November, and December were dreadful. My skin was super itchy, I couldn’t sleep, I felt hopeless blah blah blah. I don’t need to tell you how it feels.

But then I tried moisturizer withdrawal, and things improved really quickly! The awful splits that I had all over my neck, arms, and hands healed within a week. And my skin overall just got a lot smoother. I’m not nearly as furfuraceous as I was a month ago 🙂

I don’t know if I can owe this healing completely to MW, seeing as things tend to get better for people around month 18. But I whole-heartedly believe that it helped. I should mention that I am moisturizing again, but it’s just once a day after I shower as opposed to every couple of hours. It just feels right for me. Plus I actually like moisturizing.

So yeah, things are getting better, the discoloration is lightening up, and I’m feeling more human. Hopefully I’ll get around to posting pictures soon!

15 Months. When will this be over?

Sigh…

I just finished up 15 months with this. Ugh. It’s bad.

My skin has been extremely itchy, disrupting my sleep and my work. It’s really tough being in school right now. I thought that things would be better by now, but they aren’t.

There have been improvements, but not in places that matter. My legs are finally starting to heal and return to their normal colour.

But my neck, chest, and arms? Fguhdhjgkj my brain feels foggy from the lack of sleep. That’s all I want to do–sleep. But I can’t because I have so much work to do, and when I actually do try to get some zzz’s, the itching kicks in.

And my face is rashy! UGGGGHH! My eyelids are wrinkly and puffy. I hate waking up, because I never know what horrors will stare back at me in the mirror.

This is definitely worse than the first flare. It’s not as widespread, but it’s extremely intense and wicked wherever it is. So much stresssssss.

Hope you’re doing better,

Mariella

The Second Wave

Hi all,

I’m so sorry for the lack of updates. Every time I sat down to write up a post, I would halt mid-sentence and switch gears to spider solitaire. It was too emotionally draining to think about everything that’s been happening and put it down into words. But things have gotten much better since the flare erupted two months ago, so it’s now or never.

I just finished up 14 months a few days ago. The past weeks have  been filled  with itching, oozing, and flakes–things that were kind of a distant memory. I knew that the second wave was coming, but I didn’t think it would be so bad.

So now I have rashy sleeves again, and my hands are pretty much back to square one. My face, however, is doing really well, which is good enough for me.

So good, in fact, that I’m finally heading back to school. Honestly, a year ago, I was going through one of the worst moments of withdrawal. I was so stressed out about my skin, and school, and socializing. I don’t feel any of that this year. My skin’s nowhere near perfect, but I can handle it. Life can and will go on!

Anyways, here are some pictures from a month ago. The rash has spread more since then, so I’ll post updated pictures eventually!

,

Back in the thick of it

Hey everybody,

I hope you’re doing well. I’m actually not doing so great. The second flare is in full swing. It’s still localized to my arms and neck, but I find with the worsening of my skin, I’m starting to feel the same way I did during the worst of it. Suddenly I feel a little lonely. Like I don’t quite fit in with my own life, as it was only just picking up speed again. I feel lost now.

How can I move on when this beast keeps holding me back?

One Year Later!

Hey everybody!

I just wanted to do a quick update! It’s finally been a year since I stopped using steroids! Well, technically, it’s been a year and six days, but I’m posting this late. As usual.

Anywho, my skin isn’t looking so hot at the moment. It decided to act up recently, most probably because I’ve been working out a lot. Once I sweat, my skin gets itchy and bumpy, and then I scratch it until it’s raw, and so it goes. But it’s only on my neck, chest, and inner arms, so it’s not that bad.

My face is a million times better. The dreaded acne phase is over! Huzzah! I still break out around that time of the month, but that’s normal. All that remain are the scars, which will fade soon enough. Time is the best healer after all!

My legs are still lagging behind with the healing, but I’ll write more on that later. Plus I’ll post pictures as soon as my sis takes them! (She’s a lazy photographer haha!)

Until then,

Mariella

 

The N-itch

Hi everybody!

I just finished my eleventh month of withdrawal two weeks ago, and it feels great! May was a really busy month for me, so that’s why this post is a bit late. I’m trying to make up for all the time that I’ve lost to this thing, so I’ve been going out a lot and just living, really.

I went to Paris and London, I drank on a (sometimes) nightly basis (My parents were gone for two whole weeks. What can I say?!). I even met a fellow TSW warrior! It was amazing, ranting to an actual person who knows exactly what I’m talking about. I highly recommend it, if you get the chance!

My skin has definitely improved in the past month. The acne has calmed down a lot, which is awesome because it was getting pretty out of control. Also, my legs are way better. I can FINALLY shave them haha! I’m sure most ladies going through this know what I’m talking about. The thought of a razor against my skin a month ago? Yikes! It wasn’t happening. But they’re not sensitive anymore, so yay! They’re still discoloured, and they’re still dry, but the itch is pretty much gone!

As a matter of fact, the itch in general is gone. My neck still itches a bit when I sweat, but it’s really not that bad. Although, it did start itching when I was out dancing one night, so I just had to go with it haha! It’s a new move that I like to call the N-itch (the Neck Itch–guaranteed to put all eyes on you!).

Other than that, I’ve been sitting out in the sun, but not consistently because the weather is all over the place! Last week, it was really sunny, hot, and humid. This week, it’s rainy, and the temperature plummeted to 15 degrees. Not exactly tanning weather, but I’ll take what I can get.

Hoping it’s sunny on your end,

Mariella