The N-itch

Hi everybody!

I just finished my eleventh month of withdrawal two weeks ago, and it feels great! May was a really busy month for me, so that’s why this post is a bit late. I’m trying to make up for all the time that I’ve lost to this thing, so I’ve been going out a lot and just living, really.

I went to Paris and London, I drank on a (sometimes) nightly basis (My parents were gone for two whole weeks. What can I say?!). I even met a fellow TSW warrior! It was amazing, ranting to an actual person who knows exactly what I’m talking about. I highly recommend it, if you get the chance!

My skin has definitely improved in the past month. The acne has calmed down a lot, which is awesome because it was getting pretty out of control. Also, my legs are way better. I can FINALLY shave them haha! I’m sure most ladies going through this know what I’m talking about. The thought of a razor against my skin a month ago? Yikes! It wasn’t happening. But they’re not sensitive anymore, so yay! They’re still discoloured, and they’re still dry, but the itch is pretty much gone!

As a matter of fact, the itch in general is gone. My neck still itches a bit when I sweat, but it’s really not that bad. Although, it did start itching when I was out dancing one night, so I just had to go with it haha! It’s a new move that I like to call the N-itch (the Neck Itch–guaranteed to put all eyes on you!).

Other than that, I’ve been sitting out in the sun, but not consistently because the weather is all over the place! Last week, it was really sunny, hot, and humid. This week, it’s rainy, and the temperature plummeted to 15 degrees. Not exactly tanning weather, but I’ll take what I can get.

Hoping it’s sunny on your end,

Mariella

Sailing into Month 10

Hi everybody!

I’m finally 10 months into withdrawal! It’s pretty exciting, in a weird way. I mean, I haven’t really been doing much in the past year, so days just blur into one another and I lose track of time. But when another month is crossed off, it a whole different story. It feels like an accomplishment, and it is! TSW is an awful ordeal, and you need a lot of strength and endurance to go through it. It must be so tough for everyone just starting out, especially because you know what to expect. But it’s definitely a worthwhile decision, and you will heal!

I still have lots acne, especially on my forehead :S But the worst thing is the scarring! Arrrg! My skin just went from being rashy to spotty, with no break in between! Oh well, it’ll clear up eventually.

Also, I’m pretty sure my second flare has begun. It started a couple of weeks ago with the usual itchy bumps that morphed into discoloured rashes. But it has calmed down a bit in the past few days, so it’s not as bumpy now. Also, it mostly confined to my neck and chest, with just a small dry patch on my face. Hopefully it won’t spread to my arms again! They’ve been doing so well for the past few months!

Anyways, this is a bit random, but if you like movies and are interested in how visual effects are made, check out my sister’s demo reel! She’s been working on this day after day for months, and now it’s finally done. It looks really amazing, and no, I’m not biased. (Okay, maybe I am a little, but it really is fantastic work haha!) She recreated the Jolly Roger from Peter Pan! How enchanting!

 

Happy healing,

Mariella

9 Months Later

Hello again 🙂

I’ve officially been off steroids for 9 months. My skin is still in a state of stagnation. I’m going to France this month, so I hope that my skin will either stay the same, or get better. Obviously I prefer the latter, but I’m worried that my skin will go through another flare soon. I  don’t know what my skin will be  like in a month’s time, and that’s the most frustrating thing for me. All I can do is hope that things will be okay.

At the same time, I’m actually really looking forward to this summer. I just feel like my skin will be amazing once I get the sun! Bring on the unbearable heat!

On a different note, I’m going to the doctor soon to check out a rash that I’ve had for 5 months. I thought it was just from TSW, but now I’m not so sure.  It’s right beside my eye, and it just keeps flaking over and over again. Technically, I have a low risk for skin cancer (I’m brown, and I’ve never really been one to go out in the sun too much), but I did use Protopic and Elidel for a while, and they both increase your risk of cancer. Needless to say, I’m really freaking out. I hope it’s just a really stubborn rash!

(I was just being dramatic at the time! I read a pamphlet on skin cancer, so that sparked worry and concern that maybe the rash was something serious. But it wasn’t! It took a long time to heal, but it’s better now 🙂 There’s still a bit of a scar, but that will go away soon enough. TSW is a really messed up thing with really weird symptoms, but more often than not, they’re perfectly normal! So don’t panic like I did. It’s not worth losing what little sleep you have.)

Mariella

8 Month Update

Okay, sorry for the lack of posts. I would write more often if there was something to write about, but there isn’t. That in itself is both good and bad.

Things haven’t gotten any worse, but they haven’t gotten that much better either. My skin’s stagnant, and that’s possibly THE most frustrating state ever.

My legs are still driving me crazy, along with my neck. They aren’t as itchy, which is progress, but it’s not good enough! They’re just really dry and rashy. Arrrggg!!

And my face has started to break out! I haven’t had any acne in months, despite constantly caking coconut oil and vaseline onto my skin. Now, I have tons of it! I know it’s just a part of the healing process (I think my skin’s starting to make its own oils again), but it sucks.

I just want one place to be completely healed. After 8 months of this, I’ve accepted it, but I’m so tired of it. My skin has gotten so much better, but it’s still holding me back. Or I guess I’m letting it hold me back. I can’t help but worry about a second wave of flaring, and I can’t stop thinking that everything will be better once my skin’s better. But I want things to be better now, because my skin shouldn’t dictate how I live.

My life has been completely derailed, yet as much as I want to get back on track, I think I’ve become lazy and more than a little nonchalant. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I’ve had it with TSW.

Progress Pics: 6 Months

Hello!

I really should update this blog more often, but to be honest, I don’t really have anything new to say. Progress is so darn slooooow! But it does happen. I promise.

My neck’s still rashy, as are my legs. They’re the worst spots for me, itch-wise. Actually, my legs are surprisingly bad, considering that I barely put steroids on them. I used mostly on my neck, arms, and face, and yet they’re way better than my legs. It’s so weird and frustrating. This TSW is impossible to figure out!

On the upside, one side of my face has finally improved! For months, I’ve had two really bad rashes on both sides of my nose (most of my rashes are symmetrical) that just kept flaking over and over again. Now, the left side has calmed down and actually looks somewhat normal. I just hope that the other side will follow suit, because that’s how it’s been with my other rashes.

Treatment-wise, I’ve been taking super hot showers so that I’ll sweat. They do the trick, but they dry out my skin like crazy, and dry skin means itchy skin, and that’s no fun. Exercise is the next best thing. Okay, it’s better than hot showers, but my skin itches like crazy when I work out. Either way, my skin is going to itch. Hehe.

Anyways, here are my progress pictures. Technically, I’m almost 7 months into withdrawal, but I took these pictures at the beginning of January. So we’re travelling back in time! How cool is that?!

 

Hope your skin’s getting better,

Mariella

What’s Happened in Six Months?

Hello!

I passed the six-month mark a few days ago, so I decided to write about all the things that have improved in these long months.

1. I don’t have to moisturize every 5 seconds. In fact, I can get away with moisturizing 3 times a day now- once in the morning, once after I shower, and once before bed. (For the record, I’m still using coconut oil and Vaseline.)

2. My hands are 87.5% healed! I got so used to having to pull my sleeves up all the time when I went out to cover up my rashes. Yesterday, I was about to pull them up when I looked at my hands and remembered that I don’t have to do that anymore 🙂

3. My arms, chest, and stomach are lightening up! I had major discolouration all over my torso, so I’m extremely relieved that it’s actually fading!

4. The itch has died down a lot. For the last month, my thighs and my neck have been driving me crazy! But they’re not so bad anymore.

My face is still flaky, but I’m hoping it will get better soon. It’s been like this for 4 months after all! I think I’m at the point where the sun would make my skin 5 billion times better, but it’s winter here in Canada, so I have to wait until the weather isn’t so miserable. Hopefully another six months will do the trick, and I’ll be able to get  my life back on track!

Happy Holidays!

Mariella

 

Richard Ashcroft Put it Best

My skin is still being miserable. My neck is extremely itchy and my legs are covered with rashes. And then my face still isn’t healed yet, but I guess that’s to be expected seeing as I did use a wide variety of creams on my eyelids and jazz.

I would never actually do it, but sometimes I can’t help but imagine using some cream. My skin would be amazing in a couple of days! But like I said, when I think about that, I quash those thoughts with The Verve. Because like Richard Ashcroft said…

Now the drugs don’t work

They just make you worse

But I know I’ll see your face again!!!!!!

I know he’s singing about different drugs, but I like to interpret the song in my own way, thank you very much.

On the flip side, I think I can actually see some normal skin again! I say ‘think’ because I haven’t seen it in so long that I don’t remember what it looks like haha! Still, it’s a nice feeling. Now, hopefully my skin will be super amazing in time for Christmas. That would be the best gift ever!

Actually, maybe it would be the second best. My sister bought me a guitar shirt that I can actually play. That’s the best gift ever haha!

Mariella